The service that the approximately 2 million members of the United States Armed Forces provide every day may not be seen by every single person in the country, but if they are wearing the nation’s livery, you know they are doing their part for the good of the country.
Many of those service members also have families, and they rely on their partners to take care of very important matters at home so that their loved ones can do the business that comes with service. The selfless service that these men and women provide is less visible than those who wear the uniform, but it is a form of support that cannot be emphasized enough.
Sheela Casey is the wife of a retired Four-star general and 36th Army Chief of Staff George Casey Jr.. He has also dedicated himself to other passions such as his career in government and ways to serve other people. The pillar he relies on to do everything he has done is fitness and being the best version of himself and, in his eyes, the reason for this is clear.
“If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of your family and anything else that’s important.”
Life as a military wife and mother
Casey has been active most of her life, but women’s sports were not as prominent as they are today. He discovered swimming and competed in that sport for 12 years. After her marriage, one would have thought that her new sport would have been competitive transfer since her life comes from walking down the aisle with a soldier.
“I moved 25 times over the course of 41 years.”
Her relocation spanned the entire world, and while her husband did it whenever he could, much of the work fell on her shoulders; coordinating work themselves, setting up home, and getting to know the new community after becoming familiar with the streets and places of the community they had just left.
Apart from handling all the problems associated with frequent travelling, she was also the mother of two sons. Despite her experience as a military member’s wife, she will learn even more as her son fights for freedom.
“I thought I understood what it would be like to send a child to a war zone. I immediately realized that once it happened, I had no clue until I actually experienced it myself.”
Putting family before self is common in most households, whether they are military or civilian. There are some spouses who play a supporting role, but a 2017 study from the Department of Defense confirmed that 92 percent of spouses are women, and the perception of caring for others first and sometimes only is a natural tendency.
Casey advised that no matter how good it feels, ignoring your own needs ultimately won’t help the family. “I think women, who are typically the caregivers, think, ‘I’ll take care of myself later,’ but in the long run, that doesn’t help,” she said.
Why did he create his own life and career?
Casey acknowledged that her role in a military family has some benefits, including skills she can apply in her career and life. She found that making her own path was a necessity, and noted that her husband agreed.
He recalled, “I decided early in my marriage that I wanted something for myself. You know, something outside the Army that was my own.” “And my husband was very supportive of it, and I couldn’t get my happiness from my spouse.”
His resume is quite impressive and inclusive 20 years as chief operating officer of The Hill Also serving as Special Assistant to President Biden and Director of Joining Forces, First Lady Biden’s initiative supports military and veteran families, caregivers and survivors. He has also been honored by the Army as a civilian, including receiving the Defense Distinguished Civil Service Medal twice.
Today, Casey is a Senior Consulting Partner American Corporate Partners (ACP)A non-profit organization that provides one-to-one counseling to help veterans and military spouses address underemployment. Casey works to increase the number of spouses who can pursue their own careers. She also works in a similar role with Hiring Our Heroes to help those transitioning from active duty to civilian life.
Overall, Casey’s experience has served as a beacon of hope and inspiration for others who were previously unsure about building their careers and making a living outside of their roles as military parents and spouses. This was not his original intention but he is proud that things happened that way.
“I can’t tell you how many times over the years military spouses have come up to me and said, ‘Thank you for allowing me to work.’ And I said, ‘You don’t need me
Permission. You need to do what is important for you and your family.’ After that everything else falls into place.
From relocating a family to climbing a mountain
The stress that comes with being a military spouse and maintaining one’s career can feel like a mountain to be burdened at times, constantly relocating, familiarizing yourself with new communities, helping the kids adjust to new schools, and doing all the things that the serving spouse can’t do due to their duties. That feeling of conquering those figurative mountains is probably the reason Casey now climbs literal mountains. Two of Casey’s grandchildren told him they wanted to climb Machu Picchu with him and their grandfather as a graduation gift. So, eight members of the family traveled for the three-day climb.
“Machu Picchu was really hard,” he recalled. “We climbed to 13,500 (feet) for three days and spent two nights on the ground in 30-degree weather, which wasn’t really fun.”
The whole family is set to go on another mountaineering adventure later this year, this time to Mount Fuji. Casey was not sure how the choice was made, but confirmed that she had no intention of making climbing a permanent hobby.
“I will tell you that I told my husband this is the last mountain I’m going to conquer.”
A call to action for military families
Casey sympathizes with the many spouses, parents, and other family members who are sending their loved ones to various dangerous situations around the world. However, she also talks about the importance of self-care and staying healthy so that they can be the best support system for their loved ones and enjoy life with them once again when they return home. She credits her health and well-being today to her past commitment to a healthy lifestyle.
“I don’t have any cholesterol problems, don’t have blood pressure problems, I don’t have any of that, and so I want to do what I can to stay that way.”
That’s why, despite the potentially mile-long to-do list and feelings of guilt for having to think about it yourself, finding ways to be active even for at least 30 minutes a day is important so that you can be available to provide the support that military spouses need. Casey confirms that it’s not actually selfish; This is another tool that can help you when you do selfless acts that your family needs you for.
“The truth of the matter is that, as caregivers, we often put ourselves on the back burner. So, I think, it requires a concerted effort and really thinking about it and motivating ourselves to do it.”
M&F Military Editor Rob Wilkins contributed to this Fit to Serve article.