Parking lots are a necessary evil in places that don’t offer decent public transportation (everywhere in the US) and it’s well known that other people are in hell. Put those two together and you get an area for jackassery. Generally, things go well. You pull up to a spot, dump it in the park and move on with your day. Other times, you’re dealing with entitlement, bad actors, clueless drivers, sexual harassment, or worse.
Some parking lots are worse than others. Trader Joe’s grocery stores are notorious for terrible parking conditions. And anyone who has had to deal with Sunday traffic knows that a church parking lot is much less forgiving than the building where it holds services. But a bad or short-tempered driver can turn any parking lot into a battlefield. I want to hear your stories! What’s the worst conversation you’ve ever had in a parking lot?
I just wanted my chicken parm…
A recent run in with a jerk got me thinking about this question of the day, and it was actually a little troubling. A fat man in a Porsche Macan S pulled into a narrow, small parking lot ahead of me and, I thought, he was pulling into a space near the door. Apparently he was attempting to back up to a spot (the first sign of entitlement; everyone wants to wait for you when you pull back into a parking spot. Stop doing that! Especially in small lots) It took him so long that I didn’t see his reverse lights because I had already reached the spot I saw… which he was aiming way up high.
Instead of being a normal person and parking in one of the many other freely available spaces in this small parking lot, he stopped my car by parking in the entire space and started yelling at me to move my car so he could park in this space. He then followed me to the carry-out area and tilted his car so that I could not get out and no one else could enter there. I picked up my food and followed me outside, all the while yelling about how this was his place. At this point, I had probably spent a minute and a half in his precious space and could have just left and given it to him, but he kept blocking me in and standing at my car door as if waiting for… I don’t know exactly? Pardon? Italian sandwiches in recognition of their excellence in the parking lot?
Now, I’m the only woman and I probably should have asked someone at the restaurant to call the police, but Detroit police aren’t really known for their punctuality, or in general don’t care about small fights like this. Plus we’ve had a lot of rich, entitled people move into Detroit lately and I’m not one to have others fight my battles. So instead I told him he was behaving like a violent creep and that I was more than happy to trash my husband’s worthless Ford Escape on his Macan to get away from a potentially violent situation. In a no-fault state like Michigan, this would definitely hurt him more than me. I had to call 911 to get this guy to leave me alone. There’s nothing better than describing him to an operator while he’s standing there (receding hairline, hair, little piggy eyes, at least 300 pounds…) and did I mention he did it all in doctor’s scrubs! As I was leaving, I might have told him to get a real Porsche if he wanted to lose a lot of weight.
Anyway, hopefully he’s learned his lesson; Don’t mess with dirty city girls. How are you? What is your worst parking experience?
