Journalist and Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement founder Maria Shriver shares what caregivers need most, drawn from years of caring for her father.
Estimated reading time:4minutes
As Maria Shriver will attest, the news can be truly overwhelming. Back in 2003, when her father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, a type of dementia, her life was upended — not just because the disease had struck Sargent Shriver, a key figure in President John F. Kennedy’s White House and a leader in the War on Poverty under President Lyndon B. Johnson, but also because she then had to become a dutiful caregiver herself.
“Caregiving taught me that caregivers need care, too,” Shriver said. “When someone you love is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, so much of your attention understandably goes toward that person: the appointments, the medications, the decisions, the changes happening from day to day. It can be very easy for the caregiver to disappear inside that responsibility.”
As a result of Shriver’s 2010 examination of Alzheimer’s, the illustrious journalist and former first lady of California started a nonprofit that became Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement, the first organization focused exclusively on the link between women and Alzheimer’s. Since 2022, the organization’s grants have generated over $93 million more in government and foundation funding.
Learning to support caregivers
According to the Alzheimer’s Association, the brain disorder “affects memory, thinking, and behavior. Symptoms eventually grow severe enough to interfere with daily tasks,” and it’s “the most common cause of dementia, a general term for memory loss and other cognitive abilities serious enough to interfere with daily life. It accounts for 60-80% of dementia cases.”
Shriver says women get hit from both sides–as those who are more likely to develop Alzheimer’s and to be caregivers. “For many cultural, social, and economic reasons, more women than men are caregivers in the United States.,” she said. And while age also plays a key role in whether women go on to develop Alzheimer’s disease. As Stanford Medicine emphasizes, “Because women outlive men, there are simply more women in the highest-risk age groups (there are more than twice as many women over age 90 than men, for instance).
“What caregivers need most is support — be it emotional support, practical support, financial support, or, frankly, just permission to ask for help,” Shriver continued. “They need people who will check on them, listen to them, and give them a break. They also need information, because most family caregivers are suddenly forced to navigate an incredibly complicated disease with very little preparation.”
It’s not surprising that Shriver leans towards kindness and compassion, given the figures of inspiration within her own family, including her father, of course: “He started the Peace Corps and took on issues of poverty and economic injustice plaguing our country. My mother, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, taught me what it means to see a group of people whom society has overlooked and decide that you are going to do something about it. She started the Special Olympics in our backyard, which has grown into an international movement. They were both giants in their humanitarian work.”
Learning to provide care
Meanwhile, Shriver has some well-honed advice for caregivers: “Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of the person you love. Those two things are not in conflict,” she said. “Caregivers often feel guilty about taking time for themselves, but exhaustion, chronic stress, and isolation take a real toll on the brain and the body. You cannot sustainably care for another person if your own health is constantly at the bottom of the list.”
“That doesn’t mean you need to adopt some elaborate wellness routine,” continued Shriver. “Sometimes it means taking a walk, getting enough sleep when you can, going to your own doctor’s appointments, eating well, calling a friend, finding 20 minutes when someone else can take over, joining a caregiver support group and talking to people who understand your experience, and learning to ask for specific help.”
The latter can include asking someone to pick up your groceries or maybe to drive you to an appointment once in a while. Get enough exercise and prioritize your social connections when you can. With about 38.2 million unpaid elder caregivers in the United States, based on data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, Shriver wants them to know that they are not alone.
“It’s a big club, and it’s growing every day,” Shriver said. “So, I want them to feel like they’re part of a larger community, and not as if they’re twisting alone in the wind. I want them to hear that it isn’t an indulgence to care for themselves and their health, but an absolute necessity. The system is dependent on it.
“We need you. Our economy needs you. Our country needs you. But just as you’re working hard to care for your loved one, you need to take care of yourself, too.”
