Hello friends!
Welcome to another great installment of Am I a literary ass?An alcoholic advice column who is very happy to be here. I’m your host, Kristen Arnett, and I’m proud to announce that it’s officially Miller Time. That’s right, I’m about to go my entire way through a twelve pack of beer. Would you like to join me, gentle readers?
Great! Let’s crack down on some cool stuff and get down to the wonderful task of reading everyone’s little gossip.
Cheers, let’s join in:
1) Dear Dad,
There’s a very famous local author who a lot of people love, but not me. I have no criticism of his work or personal bad experience, it’s all just a gut feeling. Does this make me literary hollow?
melting in the midwest
And we’re off to a strong start!
Listen, no one has to like anyone. I mean, we need to be respectful. This is paramount. But after all, no one is going to force you to enjoy this person’s work or company. Everyone is different and we all have different personalities. Some of them have better personalities than others. simple as that!
Now, since you wrote to me, I am going to open it further. Why? Because you wouldn’t choose to write to a stranger about something like this unless your feelings are a little more complex than “just a gut feeling.”
I’m a big believer in intuition. If your gut is telling you that this is a bad character (and it’s really nothing more than that), then I think you can go with it alone. Keep your negative thoughts to yourself and maintain distance.
But! The question I want to ask you is whether any of this could stem from anything other than your “gut.” Since I’m a firm believer that our guts are great barometers of energy and vitality, I also think there are other layers to examine here.
This is a famous local author, right? Are you from here too? Do you have strong feelings about the people who write about that place? Does the fact that the person gets recognition and “love” for their work impact the way you view them because you’re also (probably) a writer? Does it make you feel certain ways about your work?
You say you have no criticism of his writing, but perhaps consider for a moment why you do. No Having any kind of feelings about it. Is it really indifference, or is there something else at the root? I always think it’s wise to play it safe and check your emotions. This is especially true when it comes to matters of personal dislike.
I’m not going to call you an ass for generally disliking someone! This is absolutely fine. But it might be beneficial for you to take a little look at your inner workings, just to see if you can figure out what’s causing it all. The answer may surprise you! And I’m sure you’ll learn something interesting from practice, regardless.
Beer for you? Beer for me. Let’s see what’s next on the docket:
2) Am I a fool to reject the compile request? Someone contacted me (through my agent) and asked if I would consider contributing to an upcoming anthology. Thematically, this work is not remotely like mine. When I just write “scary” think “romance”. sincerely? I was very hurt. I told my agent to reject them nicely, and then my agent seemed upset because it was pretty good pay for Antho. Apparently many big names are associated with it. Should I have just sucked it up and sent them something?
It’s easy! You don’t need to feel bad about this at all.
I understand why your agent would see that there is a lot of money involved and would want you to be a part of things. It’s always nice to get paid for our writing, and anthologies typically don’t cost that much cash because there are so many contributors listed in the contract.
But what if this compilation is tackling work that’s not even remotely in your wheelhouse? It’s better to leave it alone. You’ll probably end up with one of these:
Submitting work that doesn’t mesh with the rest of the contributors (and possibly receiving a polite rejection of your efforts)
Submitting work that is not your usual style and does not seem to meet your standards
It’s perfectly okay to walk away from things if we feel we’re not a good fit. Jobs are jobs, friends. Why try to put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation when there are so many other opportunities out there that would be better for us artistically and professionally?
Don’t worry about this. Something else will come along that will be better for everyone involved.
Okay, we’ve come to our final question (and our final question) of the day. Let’s take a sip and see, shall we?
3) Sometimes when I try to attend open mic nights or other literary events in my (admittedly small) town, I feel so awkward that I come off like a jerk. My best friend has told me I have a “resting bitch face” so I can’t really do anything about it, but I want to make more friends in the community. Do you have any advice?
Sometimes you just need to toughen things up.
I know this is hard to hear! But allowing yourself to experience discomfort can sometimes lead to essential life experiences. Are there ways you can connect with other people at these events? He will take care of the “resting bitch face”. Although I must say, sometimes we may feel like we are performing poorly, and the reality is that we are doing just fine. As long as you’re not actively saying negative things about other readers, chances are no one will think you’re behaving like a “jerk.” They probably just think you’re shy.
Maybe contact someone after you’re done and let them know you liked what they read. Ask someone questions about their work. Most artists really enjoy hearing positive feedback, especially in smaller venues where they are trying new and vulnerable work.
The more you put yourself out there, the easier it all will seem. The more comfortable you are with talking to other people at these events, the more likely you will be able to create a larger and more welcoming community space for yourself. Chances are there are a lot of people at these events who are just as nervous as you. Trying can make a big difference.
I believe in you! You’ve got this!
And friends, that’s all we have time for today. Join me the next time I answer more of your unknown questions (submit them). HereFriends) and I also start building a fort out of all my empty beer boxes. Yes, you’re invited! Byob!
Hi-ho,
Father
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Are you worried you’re a literary asshole? Ask Kristen via email at AskKristen@lithub.com, or Here anonymously.
